The 4 Bs of Bedtime

by Susan Bullard

Modern life makes it hard to keep a consistent bedtime – even for our children. It’s really hard to get dinner, homework, and some family time into a short evening – and then there are the kids’ activities – maybe sports, dance, church activities, scouting, some of which don’t end until after bedtime. So the temptation is to let bedtime slide because something else takes priority. Occasionally this is unavoidable, but there are some really good reasons to be strict about bedtime for the most part.

Sleep deprivation for adults is linked to many health problems such as obesity, stroke, high blood pressure and depression. Not all of these apply to children, but kids who are sleep deprived suffer from poor school performance, behavior problems, increased risk of injury and a considerably higher risk of becoming obese. It’s not entirely clear why sleep deprivation causes obesity, but it definitely does. It probably has something to do with hormones released during sleep. There is also some convincing evidence that it’s not only how long you sleep, but when you sleep. Later bedtimes increase your risk for obesity, even if you sleep late and get the same amount of sleep.

So…what to do?

The National Sleep Foundation has issued recommendations for children’s bedtimes. Toddlers should sleep 11-14 hours a day; school age children 9-11 hours and teenagers 8-10 hours.

This can be hard. If your grade schooler has to be up by 6 to get ready for school, bedtime might be as early as 7 pm.

Certainly individual needs vary within those ranges – your grade school child may only need 9 hours, but they are just as likely to need 11. The best way to tell that your child is getting enough sleep is that they shouldn’t have to be dragged out of bed. If you have to wake them several times, if they fall asleep or complain of being tired during the day or if they need to sleep extra on weekends, they are not getting enough sleep.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has recommendations for how to ensure your child gets good sleep. First, start when they are little.

Develop a good bedtime routine during infancy.

An easy routine to remember is “the 4 B’s of Bedtime – Bath, Brush, Book, Bed.” First comes a warm relaxing bath, followed by tooth brushing. Then read a book to your child. It calms them and makes them feel secure in their relationship to you. Then put them down to bed at the same time every night. You will find that they go to sleep more easily and sleep better if they can count on the routine.

For older children, there are a few important points. Again, stick to a routine and a consistent bedtime. Stop all screen time at least an hour before bedtime, and don’t let kids have electronic devices in their bedroom. It may seem easier to just let them fall asleep watching TV but it interferes with good sleep, “revving” up the brain and even causing nightmares. Require phones and tablets to be left in another part of the house at night to charge.

You can find more detailed recommendations at the American Academy of Pediatrics site https://www.healthychildren. org/English/ healthy-living/sleep and the National Sleep Foundation website https:// sleepfoundation.org.

Susan Bullard is a retired pediatrician.

4 C's of School Success

The new school year has begun and families have shifted from long summer days to the shorter, busier schedules that arrive with autumn. Teachers spent the last weeks of summer preparing classrooms, curriculums, and their hearts and minds to provide the best possible learning experiences for the children they will guide through the coming year. The first day of school was filled with anticipation, along with a few anxious tears… and that was before the children arrived!  Now that everyone is settling in, let’s ask teachers how we can best support our kids to make the most of their time at school.

1. Cover the Basics. Make sure your child is gets plenty of sleep and exercise, food and water, clean clothes, and regular checkups. It’s no small task to arrange family routines to keep up with these needs, but teachers will tell you that when children are tired, hungry, or unwell, their ability to learn suffers.

2. Consider the Costs. Even for the most social children, being with a group of people all day takes a lot of energy and effort. Like adults, children need time each day to unwind and de-stress.  While extra-curricular activities like sports, music, or scouts may be beneficial, they can also lead to families being over-hurried, over-budget, and over-stressed.  Make sure there’s time in your family’s schedule for unstructured play and relaxation.

3. Connect the Dots. Many families are anxious about their child’s academic progress, reliving their own struggles with testing, grades and homework as they attend their first parent-teacher conference. It’s important to remember that you are your child’s first and most important teacher. Starting from the day they came into your life, you’ve been modeling skills like curiosity, self-control, and perseverance that will make or break their school success. Teachers are experts in subject matter, instructional techniques, and group dynamics. They need you to provide the motivation, confidence, and initiative that will help your child thrive in the classroom. Ask yourself; how often does your child see you enjoying reading, math, or learning something new?

4.  Control the Screen. Screens are everywhere, from the grocery store aisles to the dashboard in your car.  They are so common that we ignore how much background noise the digital world creates, and the effect all that instant information can have in shaping our real-time relationships with our children. It may be eye-opening to simply keep track of everyone’s screen time for a day, both in time and quality.  Just as you try to balance meals, it’s a good idea to balance your family’s media consumption. Teachers, pediatricians, and librarians all have great tips to offer - just google “screen time for kids” and you’ll find 800 million results. Better yet, ask them face to face!

In the end, the most important thing families contribute to their child’s school success is attitude. When you communicate excitement, curiosity and respect for education, you’ll earn an A+ from any teacher!

 Holly Hartman is an early childhood educator, author, and member of the Early Childhood Coalition, Inc. 

100 Books

One hundred is an important number when it comes to the books a family owns.  To talk about why, let’s first talk about music.

Do you sing, listen to music, or play a musical instrument?  Imagine for a moment if almost every aspect of daily life – from cooking a meal to navigating around town, shopping, and working – depended on your understanding of and ability to make music.  Now let’s compare two children; Ani’s family are all musically-able, the home has a piano, guitar, and many other smaller instruments, and there is music playing in the house every day.  Ben’s family has no experience with music, no instruments in the home, no one ever sings, and the only music ever heard is background stuff on TV.

On the first day of kindergarten, the two children arrive at school, both eager to learn. After the teacher sings hello, Ani notices the piano in the corner and the circle of rhythm instruments laid out on the floor in a circle, and feels right at home.  Ben has no idea what to do, and when he picks up an instrument and holds it upside down, he is immediately corrected and told to wait until he is shown the “right” way to use it.  Neither of the children know how to play music yet. But Ani has already learned to value and enjoy music. She is well on the way to mastering skills and becoming “musically-proficient” when tested in the third grade, even though her parents have never tried to give her any lessons.  Ben is already behind, and will likely stay that way in spite of being targeted with intensive music instruction throughout grade school.  And since musical ability is the basis of success not only in education but throughout life, Ani will enjoy better long-term health, wealth and social outcomes.

Study after study has shown that the children who learn to read proficiently have two things that separate them from those who struggle: books in the home and a regular habit of self-chosen reading.  More specifically, homes where children have access to at least 100 books and report a daily habit of reading are homes that produce avid readers.  The term for those homes is “scholarly culture.” The families have an overall attitude and appreciation for reading as a life skill that is practiced so regularly and naturally that it is taken for granted.

It is not necessary to “teach” our young children to read before they start to preschool. Drilling two-year-old with flash cards may not be harmful, if we keep it playful and fun, but it also won’t make them better readers. What is essential is that we have plenty of books in our homes and that children enjoy shared reading time with trusted adults as a regular routine, beginning when they are babies and continuing throughout their childhood.

Families create a “scholarly culture” by bringing books home, reading and talking about them every day, and by making shared reading time a close and comfortable experience with their little ones. And that’s how we raise readers!

Holly Hartman is Director of Publishing at Unite for Literacy and an Early Childhood Coalition member

That Time of Year Again... Bugs are Back!

Springtime is here in Oklahoma, and along with the nicer weather and longer days comes an onslaught of bugs.

Most are merely irritating, but ticks and mosquitos can carry disease.

Kids need to be outdoors so they can get some exercise, learn about nature and explore, but how do we protect them from the bugs?

First, use protective clothing – long sleeves, long pants and hats when bugs are likely.

Put insect repellent directly on the clothing and also on exposed skin. For young children, don’t use it on their hands. To apply to the face, spray into your hand and rub on the cheeks, chin and forehead, staying away from the eyes and mouth. DEET (in concentrations of 30 percent or less only in children over two months old), picaridin (also known as P-methane diol or PMD), IR-3535, and oil of lemon eucalyptus (only for children over 3 years of age) have been shown to be effective.

After being outside, shower or bathe your child as soon as possible.

Thoroughly check for ticks at that time and at least once a day during tick season. Not only does showering improve your chances of finding a tick (often even before it attaches), it also helps to wash off chiggers and the oil from poison ivy before they cause itching.

If you do find a tick attached, it should be removed as soon as it is found. The sooner it is removed, the less likely it is to cause disease.

Stay calm so your child will too. For a small or scared child, it helps to have another adult to make sure the child doesn’t move while you’re removing the tick.

It doesn’t hurt, but kids get scared. Grasp the tick with tweezers as close to the skin as possible and pull gently and steadily until the tick releases. A little piece of dead skin may come off with the tick – that’s GOOD! It means you completely removed the head and mouthparts.

Wash the area with soap and water. The bite may get red and itchy

Concerning Kids

over the next few days, but unless it gets bigger than a quarter or is rapidly worsening, that’s OK. It might take days to weeks to completely heal.

Most tick and mosquito bites don’t cause anything worse than itching, but when they do they need attention. The most common tick borne disease in Oklahoma is Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, which usually occurs a week or two after a tick bite, with fever, rash and headache being the common symptoms.

It usually responds very well to appropriate antibiotics when treated early after symptoms appear. We hear a lot about Lyme Disease, but the Oklahoma State Department of Health reports that there has never been a proven case of human Lyme disease in either Oklahoma or any southern state. Another newly recognized tick-borne illness, called Southern Tick Associated Rash Illness (STARI) is similar to Lyme disease but does not seem to cause the long term ill effects of Lyme disease.

Mosquito bites can carry West Nile virus, which usually only causes a mild illness, but in rare cases it can cause severe disease which is hard to treat. It is most common in later summer.

Take the above measures to protect your children from mosquito and tick bites as much as possible, but don’t panic when your child is bitten: most bites won’t cause any problems. For more information go to healthychildren.org, the American Academy of Pediatrics website for parents.

Susan Bullard, M.D., retired pediatrician who practiced 29 years in Stillwater, member of the Early Childhood Coalition here in Payne County and an initiator of the Healthy Steps program at SMC Pediatrics

Keeping Up with the Kids

Spring is baby season in the natural world, and I can’t resist peeking in on the chicks at the local feed store or watching young goats chase each other around the field near my house. These babies all seem to have just one setting...ON.  Small humans are no different, which is why their parents are tired much of the time.  It’s no secret that youngsters don't follow the same time schedule and rules as adults!

As soon as they wake each day, babies are busy doing exactly what they want to do, which is to make their own sense of the world, especially the people, around them. Our job is to provide a safe and nurturing environment and to be their first teachers.

The fun part of being a teacher is singing, laughing, listening, reading, and playing with our kiddos as they build their knowledge. The harder part is that any time they are awake, they have no OFF switch.  Regardless of our adult needs and schedules, children keep right on learning, driven by the rapid growth of their bodies and brains.  Also, they are always learning so much more than we intend to teach.  They parrot our favorite words, good and bad.  They imitate our ways of turning a page, twirling our hair, and picking a fight. They are little scientists experimenting with cause and effect, and we are their main research subjects.  No wonder we are tired... it is hard to keep up our little busybodies!

Fortunately, children generally follow the same pattern for developing and learning. They sit first, then crawl, then walk, run, and finally leap across the stage or playing field.This goes for physical development and also for mastering feelings, interacting with other people, and developing a conscience. But every child follows their own internal clock that dictates when the time is right for moving from one stage to the next. Of the two children I know best, one walked at nine months and one at fourteen months, and they both get around just fine as adults. In fact, it isn’t until around eight years of age that stages of development even out among most children. During those early years, we need to worry less about when a child masters a particular skill, and pay more attention to giving them the time and encouragement they need to work on all the things that will make them successful, lifelong learners.And that brings us back to the fun part of teaching, because the way that people learn best is through play. As we sing, dance, pretend, read, and talk with our children, they are making the most of every minute to learn exactly what they need to know at that stage of their development. The time we spend playing with our children shows them that we respect their need to learn in their own way, and at their own time, even if we can’t always keep up!

Holly Hartman is Director of Publishing at Unite for Literacy and an Early Childhood Coalition member

Staying Right Where You Are

Be present. Stay in the moment. Have you heard phrases like this?

They are intended to help us keep our minds focused on where our bodies are; being present can help us out tremendously when worry or anxiety start to get the better of us by stopping negative thoughts and helping us settle down and focus on where we are in that moment.

When you’re eating, are you tasting the food, or are you mentally miles away thinking about something else?

When you drive into work, do you notice the beautiful sunrise, or are you having a hypothetical argument all by yourself?

I’m a big believer in being present, and I’ve seen it help adults and kids alike manage overwhelming thoughts and feelings. I recently discovered that I was failing at being “in the moment” in a big way.

The other night over dinner with my child, I took advantage of momentary silence to start in on a litany of questions: Who did you sit with at lunch today? Do you have any homework? Have you laid out your clothes for tomorrow?

Pretty quickly a casual dinner turned into the equivalent of a planning meeting. Neither of us was happy with how it was going.

I realized with a start that not only was I failing to be in the moment, but I was spoiling the opportunity for real interaction. I decided that I was going to try to change the tone of dinner, and I focused on those things that were immediately around us: things I could see, hear, smell, feel, and taste.

I commented on the orange leaves on the tree in our backyard, and in return my child perked up and noticed a squirrel working busily around the base of the tree.

We talked about the taste of the food we were eating, and what the ingredients were.

We laughed, and dinner extended a few minutes longer than usual.

My child looked happier, and I felt better than when I was on the verge of nagging. For a few minutes, we enjoyed being right where we were, together.

I don’t want my child to grow up with a running to do list in her head, or worse yet, with a nagging sense that she’s not doing enough.

I want her to know the full experience of hot soup on a cold and windy day, and not get lost in preoccupations with what comes next.

Did I check homework later that night? You bet I did. Did those clothes for the next day get picked out? Yes, and with a good bit of protest. It wasn’t the content that needed to be changed, but my timing. I had to decide on purpose that I was going to make dinner a time to be present, and teach my child how to do the same.

I’m still not used to taking breaks to “live in the moment,” but with practice, I’m getting better.

Dr. Ginger Welch is a Clinical Associate Professor at OSU, and a member of the Early Childhood Coalition.

February Kids Calendar

This month we are introducing a new feature to our website and Facebook pages. Our Kids Calendar is meant to help caregivers find fun things to do for children in the Stillwater area. If you have an idea or event to add, please get in touch!

Dentist books: https://www.craftplaylearn.com/dentist-books-for-preschoolers/

Pretend Snow: https://buggyandbuddy.com/white-playdough/

Kindness Books: https://imaginationsoup.net/childrens-picture-books-kindness/

Edible finger paint: https://theimaginationtree.com/homemade-edible-finger-paint-recipe/

Thank You, Elite Repeat!

We are grateful to Elite Repeat for continuing their funding of the Early Childhood Coalition. Elite Repeat funding has paid for the children’s books that are distributed at Healthy Steps visits, staff attendance at national conferences, and support materials for our outreach activities. In spite of the tough economic climate caused by the pandemic, Elite Repeat has affirmed our importance to the community by supporting us again in 2021, and we are thankful!